Am I a Bad Feminist?
I don’t even know what constitutes being a bad feminist anymore.
I’ve read so many books about various waves of feminism, articles about feminist icons and sheroes, watched movies that shift the male gaze, and listened to podcasts that amplify the voices of diverse women across the globe. And yet, here I am, staring at my laptop while sitting at my desk, brainstorming key points until I come to a conclusion about whether I’m a bad feminist or a good feminist, and what it even means to be either. These are my thoughts…
Am I a bad feminist for hating on Che Diaz in ‘And Just Like That’? I admire her journey and all but they are just so annoying – character-wise. The writers need to sort 👏 it 👏 out 👏
Am I a bad feminist for secretly judging my friends for obsessing over how many likes they’ve received on their Instagram photos?
Am I a bad feminist for not involving the men in International Women’s Day activities at work?
Am I a bad feminist for not using an event like International Women’s Day to write a staff culture article at work that highlights the adverse challenges women in third world countries and less privileged positions face daily or how we still on get paid 77.2c for every $1 a man makes?
Am I bad feminist for thinking the ‘Barbie’ movie is too woke? I mean, I love the messaging and all, but we get the point… No need to shove it down my throat every thirty seconds. What happened to character arc and plot??? But mad respect for Gerwig on hitting the billions on this blockbuster. You go girl!
Am I a bad feminist for spending $30 a month on getting my nails done instead of donating to a domestic violence fundraiser at work?
Am I a bad feminist for making fun of my boss because she recently got lip fillers the size of one of those travel neck pillows?
Am I a bad feminist for watching ‘The Idol’ as soon as I arrived home from work? Like I actually looked forward to watching it despite knowing that it perpetuated the male gaze while so openly distorting female suffering and domestic violence.
That was tiresome, yet strangely necessary. But I still need assurance on what any of this bad/good feminist means.
Cue Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist (2014) and Deborah Frances-White’s podcast The Guilty Feminist, each of which explore the many facets of the feminist movement and their own personal tribulations in comical, fun, and ingenious light. And while both of these works have moved me and brought a closer understanding of what being a feminist means, I have to give props to Gay’s Bad Feminist which I continue to rely on years after first reading it.
Bad Feminist taught me many things. But the main point I took away from the book was that you can never really be a bad feminist if you live by the mission to advocate for a world of equality. While it can be challenging to champion such a far reaching goal when you’re surrounded by mundane cases of inequality – like the gender pay gap or the reprise of patriarchal and misogynistic viewpoints on binge-worthy television programs – remember that the very people/systems/media that amplify such detrimental ideals utilise meticulously researched techniques to engage and provoke human consumers.
Instead of directing self-critique towards personal preferences, like ironically enjoying ‘The Idol,’ channel that energy towards critiquing the underlying system. You know the saying, don’t hate the player, hate the game. And then complain about it in a blog post.