Thoughts on dry lips and paw paw ointment

Why do I keep getting dry lips all of a sudden?

Is it because, over the past month, I’ve become prone to licking my lips more frequently due to my crippling anxiety – which is often sparked when seeing the price of a single tomato at Coles?

Is it because of sleeping with the heater on every night? I’ve heard that can make your skin more dry. Or perhaps sleeping with someone new which has resorted in a lot of kissing on said dry lips?

Maybe it’s the weather? The cool air outside, winter settling in. Whether it rains or hails, it’s all just conspiring against me to unbalance the moisture levels of my upper lip, the way antibiotics do for one’s vaginal PH.

It could be hormones, but I doubt it. I want to say no since I’ve lived almost my whole life going through the ups and downs of the hormonal rollercoaster and yet this dry lip tragedy has only been an occurrence over the past month.

At this rate, I should probably Google-search my answer. But I’m too scared to. Nowadays, Google gives me no instant gratification or understanding like its frenemy Chat GPT. With Google, I have to search further for the truth, deep read countless articles for the one that actually gets my situation and doesn’t tell me I have some sort of cancer which is causing my lips to burn and crack.

And don’t get me started on Chat GPT. I’m abstaining from it, or him seeing as it continues to evolve into an all-encompassing thought-provoking entity day by day – I’m awaiting the day Chat GPT, in physical robot-form, knocks on my door in the shape of a hunky Thor-like Chris Hemsworth. And while an all-knowing Hemsworth brother would be rather appealing, I refuse to partake in the current Chat GPT cultural milieu and feed it any more knowledge than it needs. One day I do fear that he will come back to haunt me with the very questions I’ve asked it – from toe nail plucking to why people still like Trump – resulting in me becoming a victim of cancel culture.

So let’s say I don’t find out the reason behind my re-occurring dry lips, for now, I’ll just deal with it by applying the Godsent that is paw paw ointment. How fucking good is paw paw? There’s nothing a good slab of paw paw can’t fix. Burns after spilling hot tea? Paw paw. Vaginal dryness? Paw paw. Blisters from those $5 pair of heels you bought at Kmart? Paw paw.

There’s nothing paw paw ointment can’t fix, except of course for the rising cost of living – because nowadays those heels be costing $18, and a small tube of mushy fermented fruit, $12.99. I’ll skip dinz and take the mushy fruit thank you very much.

* While That Melbourne Chick swears by paw paw for her nether regions, LOUDER isn’t so sure. Unlike her, do your research before applying anything to your lady parts.